A Quaker Chuckle


A woman in gray, wearing a bonnet, was pulled over by a state trooper after a high-speed chase.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to thee, but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it after 4 convictions for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?

Woman: Oh, I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what??

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if ther wants to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, then slowly backs away to his vehicle and calls for backup. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle, placing her bonnet on the drivers seat.

Woman: Is there a problem, Friend.

Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner??

Officer2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please?

The woman lifted the lid, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out a clutch purse and hands it over. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Well. If I were a gambler, heaven forbid, I’d bet the lying scoundrel told thee I was speeding, too!

6 thoughts on “A Quaker Chuckle”

  1. Good one. My favourite Quaker chuckle is really a Jewish joke (which I also am):

    A Jewish woman named Smith (courtesy of her husband) has made a hotel reservation under that name. She goes to check into the hotel and is told “I’m sorry, madam, we do not serve Jews in this hotel.”

    “Jewish? I’m not Jewish! I’m a Qvaker!”

    “A Quaker, madam? Say something in Quaker.”

    “F*ck thee!”

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