Highlights from a Jan. 6 Late-Night

NOTE: Normally I don’t watch late-night TV. That’s less from snobbery than the fact that normally I’m asleep by then. But I make an exception when the January 6 Committee show runs til almost midnight.

(Full disclosure: I didn’t watch those late shows last night either. But the New York Times did, as a special service for its less hardy subscribers, providing these tidbits.)

 

“He did not call them from a box.
He did not call while watching Fox.

He did not help out Uncle Sam.
His brain is made of eggs and ham.
But, in his defense, it is possible he forgot the number for 9-1-1.”

— STEPHEN COLBERT, on news that Trump didn’t reach out to any security officials on Jan. 6.

“Yes, he is a stain on our history — and thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup.”

— STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Representative Adam Kinzinger’s referring to Trump’s inaction as “a stain” on our history.

“The White House announced that President Biden has a mild case of Covid. On the bright side, it’s the first positive news Biden’s gotten in months.”

— JIMMY FALLON

And, the winner’s trophy in the Capitol Underground 100-Yard Dash goes to Jumpin’ Josh Hawley, the Sprinting Senator from  Missouri.

Why is this man smiling? Timothy Miller’s book just hit the NYTimes bestseller list.

 

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