I’m not in the habit of taking political advice from rightwing websites. Never mind a site started by Tucker Carlson; or from anything else associated with the top Fox News motormouth.
But the headline below, I admit, gave me pause today. So here it is, with some comments in bold dark red.
The Daily Caller: The Democrats Only Have One Hope For 2024, And He’s Already Beaten Trump Twice
Hayden Daniel — May 3, 2022
Though it’s still over two years away, Democrats are beginning to panic over the 2024 presidential election.
Can’t argue with that.
A humiliating withdrawal from Afghanistan,
— “humiliating” is YOUR word, Dude. I still give Biden points for biting that awful bullet. Yeah, the execution sucked, and there’s other fair criticisms to be made, but Biden had the stones to do what should have been done years ago–
— an ongoing war in Ukraine —
–And whose doing is THAT?? From my nonexpert seat in the peanut gallery (likely just a few rows down from yours), if you have a war shoved in your lap by Vladimir three-days-to-Kyiv-and-total-victory-Putin, and then you help the Ukrainians fight back with their unbelievable grit and guts, how exactly is Biden in the wrong here? —
–an economy plagued by inflation, astronomical energy prices–
–all of which grew out of a two-year pandemic which was epically bungled by the orange guy in too many ways to count, though total deaths now topping 1 million is a horribly easy-to-remember number–
— a practically defenseless southern border–
–Yeah, but the Great Wall surely fixed that, right? So they must all be Canadians in disguise trying to escape being force-fed bad poutine; and where did you spend your share of the Mexican loot that paid for it? (I’m using mine to buy shares in Trump Social.)
— have sunk President Joe Biden’s approval numbers. He’s somewhere in the low 40s — close to where former President Donald Trump stood at the nadir of his tenure.
–And I hear they’re creeping up slowly, so that one ain’t over.
“Everyone needs to come to terms with the reality that we’re going to get slaughtered in November,” an anonymous Democratic strategist told The Hill. “That’s a fact. His polling has gotten worse not better. It’s indicative of the fact that people have lost confidence in his leadership. There’s nothing they’re going to be able to do.”
–Yeah, it looks tough, but that one’s not over either, and the Supreme Court just gave a serious jolt to every complacent Democrat on the planet. And when you’re done with your next victory party about Roe, you might notice that some of the Dems are waking up. Some swing voters too.
“You’ve got an imperative here that requires the Democrats to deliver. Their survival depends on it,” former Democratic Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle told The Atlantic.
Won’t argue with that, though it’s a pitch-perfect political platitude. After all, in every election, if you don’t win, then you lose. Wow; how many hundred thousand do you think Daschle pulls down for such sage advice?
Meanwhile, the corporate media continues to live in deep denial that Biden’s presidency just hasn’t panned out like they hoped.
–That’s not what I hear on my “corporate media”; he can hardly catch a break even from Maddow and Co.
The Washington Post published a list of the top 10 Democratic candidates for 2024, and, as might be expected from the Post, it’s filled with has-beens and bozos.
–I think you meant to say Bezos really. But I’m pretty sure Jeff’s only running for the moon.
Given the fact that Gavin Newsom, his only achievement is turning California into an inhospitable hellscape, and Cory “Spartacus” Booker made the list, one might be forgiven for initially thinking the list is a joke, but, alas, someone actually thinks either of these two would make a good president.
— Either one would be a whole lot better than — well, never mind; I gotta hurry this up to get back to my side hustles, of suing people in Texas who thought about abortion last week, or the Tallahassee teachers who dared to “Say Gay” in their troubled sleep.
There are only four women on the list (tsk, tsk WaPo), and none of them inspire any confidence. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, ranked number 10, is so reviled by conservatives that her candidacy would all but guarantee a historic Republican turnout. Elizabeth Warren, 4, and Amy Klobuchar, 5, failed hard in 2020 despite glowing media coverage.
Kamala Harris was ranked number 3, but her stint as vice president has arguably been a bigger disaster than Biden’s turn at the presidency. She’s been AWOL in her position as border czar since she received the position in March 2021, and the administration had to repeatedly assure the American public that Harris was not being entrusted to make deals during her visit to Poland in March. . . .
–This is a great list to my mind; and say what you want about Harris, but she won’t have to call Dan Quayle for advice about how to do her duty when electoral college day comes around again.
Pete Buttigieg beat out Harris for the runner-up spot, despite his utter incompetence at handling the ongoing supply chain crisis. Let’s not forget, Buttigieg was conspicuously missing from his job as transportation secretary during the only time in the last twenty years when his job has actually mattered.
–Sneer if you want, but Mayor Pete holds his own everywhere, even on Fox “News”. His day will come.
Biden himself snags the top spot in complete denial of his almost daily failures and his ongoing battle with the English language.
— I don’t regret voting for Joe, and if all you’ve got on him is that stack of birthdays, and his overcoming a persistent stutter, that’s not much. He’ll be no pushover.
Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown represents a relatively sane choice, coming in at #7, but his candidacy might hit a few snags. If Trump faces off against Brown in 2024, the senator might face the humiliation of losing his home state. Ohio has turned bright red in the last eight years — Trump won it by around eight points in both 2016 and 2020. For comparison, Trump won Texas by only five points in 2020 and by nine points in 2016.
Brown was also elected to the Senate in 2012 and reelected in 2018 — both years that saw Democratic gains in Congress.
–Sherrod brown is cool. No doubt he’ll have a tough race, but he won twice in red Ohio, so I’m not counting him out. And I’d vote for him in a hot minute.
The Democrats’ only real hope in 2024, barring a dark horse, is the man who comes in at #6 on WaPo’s list — North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper.
–Now we’re talking, about my homey.
North Carolina has become one of the most vital swing states over the last decade. After the 2020 Census, it now has 16 electoral votes, compared to Ohio’s 17 —
— Not to mention being the home of Pepsi Cola, Krispy Kreme and Texas Pete Hot Sauce– in addition to two champion congressional specimens, Mark “Yes-I’ll-talk-but-no-I-won’t” Meadows, and Madison “Hey, do these earrings make me look fat?” and “I’m only registered to vote in five states this week, or was it six?” Cawthorn . . . .
— and Cooper has won twice during election years that saw Republicans win the other two important statewide races.
— Oh, that’s right, he did. Skin-of-his-teeth the first time, but with room to spare the next. So maybe, even though your site may be a shill for the loathesome Carlson, you might have noticed something here.
— Trump won the state in 2016 by a little over three points, but won the state by less than two in 2020. Republican Sen. Richard Burr beat his Democratic opponent Deborah Ross by almost six points in 2016, and his colleague Thom Tillis beat challenger Cal Cunningham by 1.8%.
–Other than working the Senate floor with no socks, and making shrewd-and-very-shifty stock market maneuvers, Richard Burr was pretty much a complete blank for the state. Good riddance.
Both of those Senate victories came in election years when Republicans lost seats in the chamber. North Carolina, while definitely still a swing state, has been kind to Republicans in critical elections — except in the case of the governorship.
Cooper increased his margin of victory from 0.2 points in 2016 to four and a half in 2020.
When it comes to approval ratings, Cooper’s in the middle of the pack, 52% approval, but any of his potential rivals in the 2024 Democratic primary would kill for that approval rating.
— Can’t argue there either. But after all these years — I think I’ve voted for Cooper five times here — thrice for state Attorney General, I believe I’ve finally cottoned on to his political secret. Which I won’t tell you here —
Perhaps most importantly, Cooper comes across as the kind of moderate, normal Democrat that Biden claimed he would be during his inaugural address in 2021.–
Oh heck, you still don’t have a clue, but I’ll tell you anyway. Here’s how it works:
Several times, in conversations with Democrats from elsewhere, I’ve described Cooper’s public tenure this way
—If you stuck a gun to my head and said, “Name me three big things Roy Cooper has done for North Carolina or I’ll pull the trigger “–
–To save my worthless life, I couldn’t do it. Now you tell me (probably with some help from Google) that
[Cooper] signed the STOP Act, a law overhauling state regulations on prescribing and distributing opioids, in 2017 and was appointed by Trump to the president’s commission to fight the opioid epidemic. He also signed several tough-on-crime bills aimed at domestic violence. Cooper declared a state of emergency during the COVID pandemic and enacted restrictions on gatherings, but he did not follow the lead of more radical Democratic governors and keep them in place long after they became unnecessary.
— The WHAT act? And he’s AGAINST domestic violence; well, bless his heart, and knock me over with a feather.
But that’s IT: twenty years in public life, and he’s perfected the art of doing just enough, very pleasantly, while staying so far below the radar that, while you kinda know he’s there, he’s essentially invisible.
It’s uncanny. He’s got 100 per cent pure Anti-charisma. In fact, when he retires, he can bottle and sell it as a sleeping aid. He’d make enough money to rent J.D. Vance’s conscience for the next campaign.
Meantime, it works like a freaking charm on the hustings here.
So maybe you’re onto something, Caller–
Democrats have a pretty sorry lineup taking shape for 2024. Their prospects are an octogenarian whose grip on reality seems to slip a little more each day, a vice president so intensely dislikable her own staff is running for the hills and a gaggle of losers and cynical opportunists.
But Roy Cooper, if he sticks to his current strategy, might present a sane alternative for middle-of-the-road Americans tired of woke pandering on the left and election conspiracy theories on the right.
–I’m still thinking Let’s Go Joe will beat Let’s Go Brandon next time. But if it comes to that, Our Boy Roy could step up and bring us all joy.
In fact, maybe he’s already working on such a campaign. The fact that nobody has noticed could be the first real clue.
Hayden Daniel is the opinion editor at the Daily Caller.