The Committee On New Quaker Cliches

Re-posted January 13, 2010

Friends, permit me to announce formation of a new project for our Religious Society, namely The Committee for New Quaker Cliches, or CNQC.  The need for this body hit me like a thunderbolt while attending a large yearly meeting awhile back.  There I was, sitting and trying to pay attention, but feeling ever more uneasy, and not sure why.

Then finally, when all my hopes in all men were gone, and I did not know where to turn

— Lo there was as a voice calling to me and it said: “Yea, there is one thing that could speak to thy condition, and it is: not to hear the word ‘nurturing’ again, even once, for at least ten years.”

Yea, I heard the voice, and as it echoed my heart did LEAP for joy.
And when it came back to earth, I knew it was time to create the CNQC.

It isn’t that I’ve turned against “nurturing,” or what the term is supposed to evoke. It’s rather that the word has become like the tires on my car: they’ve gone round and round so many thousands of times the tread is worn off and they won’t hold to the road anymore.
What might replace it? Well that, of course, will be the subject of many extended committee sessions, plus megabytes of email traffic. But for starters, there would seem to be numerous candidates: how about “development”; or “maturation”; even “growth.”

(Hmmmm; I’m not so sure about that last one. “Growth” itself is a candidate for CNQC review. That’s not only from obvious overuse, but also because our attachment to it tends to overlook its inherent ambiguities . . . .

Such as when the doctor frowns over the chest x-ray and says gravely, “Err, I’m afraid we’ve found a GROWTH here.” Yes, it’s definitely on the CNQC agenda.)

The next cliche on my initial list is “spiritual journey.” Here again, the underlying thought is reasonably sound, yet every time I hear it nowadays my mind goes off in impertinent directions:

A journey, eh? Hmm, Friend, did thee have to go through security metal detectors to begin it? Did they make thee take off thy shoes (drop your pants?), give fingerprints, and show several forms of identification? And how many times have they lost thy luggage?
For my part, when such reactions come unbidden but irresistible, it’s time to hear the phenomenon described in a different way.
Why not try “pilgrimage”? Or even “quest”? The late Friend Jim Corbett, one of the Quaker giants of the late millennium, preferred “errantry,” with a nod to Don Quixote; I think it has a ring to it.
There are many more words and phrases for CNQC to grapple with, and reader suggestions are encouraged, but two will suffice here. First is, “Hold me in the Light.”

This chestnut lands on the CNQC list not only due to over-familiarity, but also because I’ve never read or heard an explanation of what, if anything, it actually means.  (I realize that this very vagueness is a key part of its appeal; but even so.) My recommendation, at least for my own plight, would be to substitute the hopelessly old-fashioned, “Pray for me.”

Yes, I know, “prayer” is problematical for some; in which case, “Pass on your best wishes,” or “Think good thoughts” would suffice. (Plus there’s the ever-popular, “Just send money.”)

This last points to still another option: “Beam me some good vibrations.” I’m aware that this was one of the prime banalities of the Sixties and Seventies; but it’s been locked down in the linguistic equivalent of Gitmo for a couple of decades now, so it may be due for rehabilitation, or at least a stint on work-release.

There are many other Quaker cliches that need to be on the CNQC review list, and again Friends are invited to make their own nominations.  In the meantime, rest assured that the committee will not try to rid us of these words and phrases forever; we too are opposed to capital punishment.  No, CNQC will simply send them on a spiritual journey, where they will be nurtured and held in the light, until they, or we, are ready to rediscover them as an aid to our growth.

Or like my tires, til they return from the retread shop, good as new, almost.

Submitted,

C. Fager,
Assistant Clerk
This Message Approved By The Committee of Cutest Calicoes.

A Comment from Chel:

I am waiting with your message to discern whether I am led to serve on your committee. If way opens for me to reach clearness on this matter, I will take it under advisement, should it speak to my condition.

Chel

A comment from Mitch Gould:

I guess I have greatly enjoyed my years as the John McEnroe of Quakerism, but really, the one thing I learned is that no matter what I say or do, Friends will just grin and go right on along in the eternal groove. Didn’t you ever hear the phrase, “Like water off a Quack’s back?”

Comment by Martin Kelley:
The vagueness of it all seems usually to be the point. We want to sound deep and spiritual without really laying out what we believe or what spirit we’re actually talking about (I was a bit more rantery about the subject when I wrote that about Sodium Free Friends and followed up that we need a rel=”nofollow”>testimony against community). I saw with some amusement when my former employer spent thousands of people hours to craft the most banal “nurture”-filled mission statement possible–there was a good use of time and funds. It’s not limited to Friends of course. My wife is fighting the good fight against banality in the Catholic Church, where “vibrant” has become the leading cliche among the bureaucrats. The rising tide of mediocrity is everywhere it seems.

And Brent Bill chimes in:
Ah, Friend Fager speaks my mind. Wait… that sounds like another Quaker
cliche’. Ooops

An initial response from Chuck: Thanks for the timely, well-seasoned responses, Friends. Keep them coming!